Learning to be a bridesmaid

Tonight I was asked a very important question by one of my longest, closest friends.

She asked me to be her bridesmaid. I naturally squealed at her and said yes. After all I've been secretly habouring a desire for her to ask me ever since the over-excited 'phone call when she announced she was engaged.

After the initial excitement and teasing died down, there was a moment of terror as it dawned on me. I haven't got a clue about what my new found role as bridesmaid entails. I could hazard a guess that there's a definite need for me to be massively organised. Something that I can do, although it doesn't come especially naturally.

But seriously, what does a bridesmaid actually do? She must be glamourous and look the part, but not so much she overshadows the bride. She's the glue that holds the bride together as she flits about the morning of her wedding. That's what the movies would have you believe.

The bridesmaid soothes, she calms, she is the voice of reason, she is the emotional support. She holds the dress up while the bride pees. Right ok, I can do that.

However a little bit of research courtesy of www.confetti.co.uk suggests that the role of bridesmaid goes much further than this. Not only have I got to hold my best friend's dress up when she pees, if we were living several centuries ago, I would be a shield against evil spirits which may attack the bride. 

Then there's the whole predicament of whether I am chief bridesmaid or just a general one. My friend hasn't yet specified. She has confided that she has no idea who else she wants to ask. This bride is an only child, so there are no sisters to be an obvious choice. I somewhat think that by default I could land this additional title. And with it the additional responsibility.

I continued my research and discovered that aside from organisation and calmness I must also be enthusiastic about the wedding, focussed, in control of the day and ready to deal with even the most ludicrous of tears with a compassionate ear. This means understanding my friend's hysteria when the table cloths she wanted to be orange turn out to be lime green.

Is it too late to say no?! I wonder. According to confetti there are only five acceptable reasons for refusing this great honour of bridesmaid-hood.

Feeling I don't know the bride well enough. 
No, that one won't do. I've known the bride since I was 13. That's over half my life. We have many a shared tale and adventure, not all suitable for the public domain.

Pregnancy.
I'm not and I'm not planning children into my life anytime soon.

Illness or disability.
Frankly I don't think I would let that stop me if they were an issue. I am a fit and healthy 24 year old however and bar some serious accident in the next 12 months I should be more than capable of assisting my friend in her big day.

A previous liaison with the groom.
Interesting one this one. I can safely say that this one also doesn't apply. My friend and the groom had been together at least a year when I first met him and I'm not that kind of girl.

A prior engagement.
With over a year's notice for my friend's wedding this is unlikely to be an excuse I can use even if I wanted to.

That settles it then, I'm going to be a bridesmaid. So help me God.